Freedom Friday

In today's episode, we talk about the basics of conversation and how it can feel challenging because of the way our brains interpret social conflict and tension, which can cause anxiety and fear of being judged. Nevertheless, self-expression is the act of communicating an internal experience to the outside world.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Welcome to the Art of Conversation. It's your girl Alicia C and we outcha recording live yoppy Friday, everyone. Good afternoon. How you feelin'? Happy Friday. The weekend is here. Who cares what happens this week? Don't bring it into the new week. Enjoy. Reset. Enjoy the weekend. Be free this Friday. Matter of fact, title of today's episode is Freedom Friday. Yeah, Freedom Friday. What does that look like? Being free. Free your mind. Free your mind this Friday. Nothing technical, right? This is the art of conversation. We're gonna have a conversation, right? Some people say that it's hard to have a conversation. And I've been with, like I've been around people who are poor communicators. It's not easy, it can be challenging. Um, I don't always want to be the one to have to initiate. You mean to tell me you don't have a single thought in your head at all? Please don't agree with everything I say. Yes, we can have some yeah, common ground similarities, but please do not agree with everything I say. You don't have no contradictions, no opinion, no backbone. There's not something that you like you're you're in question about something I said or think, or something that's like nothing to share, nothing to offer. And see, that's the thing about this podcast, right? Really encouraging the ambiance of conversation. And we know that communication, there's two forms the nonverbal, the verbal, and just thinking how self-expression itself and communication are synergies, you know what I'm saying? One washes the hand of the other, washes the back of the other, kind of sort of the same thing, not really, but yes, but but one is the foundation, the process, and the other is a way of bringing the internal into the outward, whether it's non-verbal, verbal, right? Conversation. Don't think too hard about conversation. The purpose of this podcast is taking random words, random topics. You know, I like to provide the audience with some stats behind, you know, get purposeful. I want you to take something from this, something, I want you to learn something, encouraging a safe space to be yourself, and that's the thing with people. People, some people are afraid of being themselves and leaving room for themselves to be themselves, right? And it kind of ties into a previous episode about expectations. You're expecting people to receive you a certain way, you're expecting people to understand, you're expecting people to not understand. Give people the option to understand or not understand. You can't assume, oh, because well, no. I've been in conversations with people who are horrible at conversation. And it's the grace of God with my razzle dazzle that carried it. But then who wants to like? I want, like, I don't want to speak no more. You don't got nothing to all right. You gotta suggo. See ya. Um, I'ma keep it limited because that's not what we not. I gotta go purchase the baby food. Then I gotta get a spoon, then I gotta sit there and twist it and open it, then I gotta take the spoon and put it in the jar, and then I gotta feed it to you. I'm doing too much fucking work. And you're another adult. Let's see, kid, we're not even dealing with children. Children is not even nowhere in this forecast because there's a certain way that you are with people and how you speak. I have a different way of speaking with kids than I do adults. Conversation. You don't, there's nothing. So the purpose of this is literally, you can find conversation in literature, quite literally everything if you're open-minded to it. Sometimes one word can branch into many others, which opens other dialogues. Don't think too much on it, right? Topics, current affairs, current news, colors, words, anything, right? This episode could go in many different avenues if I allow it to. We've had an episode on awareness. Awareness. We talk about different ways of being aware, aware of your mental health, aware of your surroundings, aware of how much time you spend on social media. You know, it could go in different ways. Then you can have a conversation with per like another person. Are you aware of how long you're on social media? Oh, uh pretty long. How long is pretty long? Uh probably most of the day. Do you work? Yeah, I'm on social media I work too. Hmm. What about you? Uh, I can't use my phone on the floor, but I'd be on social media. Like, what platforms there? Conversation starting. You mean to tell me there's nothing you guys could talk and agree or contrast on? Something you've seen on something that sparked out? Like, don't overthink it. And I think with some people, people fear being judged. This is a non-judgmental space. Who are you to judge? I don't care what you think. As long as I'm being tactful and respectful enough, I'm going to share how I feel. Like, this is how I see it. And I don't have an issue with someone challenging what I think and say. There's a reason why I think and say this. Maybe you see the same thing in a different light, different perspective, and you feel differently. Share. Maybe I can understand, and maybe you can understand where I'm coming from. Ha. Conversation. Title of today's episode is red, right? So when you get the technical definition of red, okay, it's a color. It's a color, it's a hue, whatever. Now what? Where do we go from here? Well, I can share. Well, no, for real. I'm being like, this is actual factual information on me. One of my favorite colors is red, right? So then I would spark it and say, Whoa, red is one of my favorite colors. What's your favorite color? You see how the conversation shifts? It starts with red. I acknowledge red. Maybe the other person likes red. All right. Well, what's your color? Oh, I like red too. Maybe they don't. Oh, I like purple. Oh, okay. What color is your car? You know what I'm saying? Like, whatever. Whatever. Maybe it's purple. Okay. You know, I'm not big on purple, but I had this really dope, dope purple dress that I wore at my ex's homecoming. Ba blah blah. Oh, word. What team? Bah bah bah conversation. Like, I've seen the weirdest conversations just break out off of common shit. You know? Both of you guys miss the train. You guys both running down the steps. Both miss the damn train. So you just, oh you're both grunting because you both relate that shit. I needed to be on that train. We ran for dear life and still miss that motherfucker. Next one's in eight minutes. So we're just like, damn. If you want to carry the conversation, you can. Like, oh man, this train, like, I don't know why I gotta leave out a little bit more earlier. But you know, there's discernment because there are wackos and weirdos in the street. You don't want to go around just having any conversation with just anything and everybody. There goes awareness, right? Being aware of who gets your time, where your time and attention and energy flows to aware. Expectations not having too many. You don't know this person from Adam. This person could be talking to you. How many times have you seen videos or people in real time get ambushed? They didn't expect that foot up their ass. They didn't expect that blow to the face. I'm sure the girl that had that um interview on TikTok in regards to Black Lives Matter movement and her opinion about, you know, slavery and certain things, and this girl just and the reporter, she just standing there smiling and with the mic talking, asking these questions, and she's just shoving the mic right in the girl's face, and the girl's looking at her, she's giving her personal opinion. She gave her her, she judged her opinion, and she got punched in her face. I'm sure she didn't expect to get punched in her damn face. I mean, glasses flew off. I'm sure she didn't expect that, right? So, using your discernment, there's a time and place for certain things, and you can't expect everyone to respond and react or be welcoming to you, right? How many times have you seen people on the train expectations, right? Just because you're saying you're in need, right? So it comes to discernment. You know intuitively who is genuine and need the help, and that will guide you in your efforts, and you know who is full of shit and looking for some handouts real quick. Let me try to go hustle up a quick five, ten dollars, you know. Let me go pull on these people's heart strings, you know, people with a heart, you know, and let me try to borrow my friend kid too, because people love kids. If I tell these people, you know, maybe not everybody give me something, somebody gonna have a heart and feel bad and give me something, and I'm trying to get me a quick fix. So let me get up on this train real quick and you know, tell these people some some some some sad shit. I'm expecting y'all ever been on the train and witnessed this? Oh, many times have you guys seen the aftermath of those? And that's how you know it's not genuine. Why you that pissed off? Because I ain't give you my money. That's how you yo. You know what I'm saying? Like, you expect just because everybody could pull a story out their ass, anyone with a mouth can create one. Just because you just got on, like, I don't know where the fuck you came from. You see other people do it, you just get on the damn train and just stand there and look at everybody like this is a damn recital. Please, everyone, sorry for your tension, my name is James, and me and my hands. We now I'm not because some people are in need, and definitely not to take shots or never ever to mock because there are people out there in need. I'm talking about you can intuitively feel when someone is in need of help, and you allow your spirit to guide you, and you can also feel when someone is full of shit, and sometimes you get the instant confirmation when they don't get what they want, and we all know that you see people's true colors when they ain't getting what they want. So you mean to tell me like that? I'm the same person you just came to with this sob story, and you expect me to feel bad and give you bread because you asked for it, because you gave this story, right? I'm the same person you just asked, but because I said I don't have it, or no, oh well fuck you, fuck you, bitch. Shut the fuck up, oh, yeah, yeah. That's why you ain't get it. See ya later, see ya later. Awareness, a no awareness, being aware, knowing who and when. Yeah, if you do give to someone who's bullshitting you, you know that's their the energy you put out, the intentions you put out, you'll get. Because maybe you're gonna find yourself in a situation one day and you won't get the help. Or someone will need your help and they'll play you. Like, life is funny, unpredictable. Right? Completely unpredictable. I didn't expect AI to become this dangerous. You can quite literally take anyone's image, place it in an AI tool, type whatever you want, the video could create, generate a video, photo in this video. You can type the words you want this, like I didn't expect it to get this bad. I didn't expect this kind of accessibility. I didn't expect that. You see how that blew up in some of our faces? We didn't expect this shit. And so soon, are you serious? This shit is not regulated. We didn't expect that. We didn't expect technology to be this advanced, we didn't expect it. We didn't expect another wildfire three lazy three years later. We didn't expect Jay-Z to cut his locks, even though I'm not big on the celebrity shit at all. That was something that was very prevalent during that week, the week of the wildfires. Everybody was going crazy. Because I know it was like the Knicks, and then the tragedies, the influencers, then the Jay-Z concert, and how people were pissed off, and how it was a mess at the Yankee Stadium, how people were angry, had to wait three hours. Like, I'm sure people didn't expect that. But then some people expected that. Expectations. People didn't expect Jay-Z to cut his dreads, people didn't expect certain people to be at the concert, you know, like different things, different things. Hmm. Free your mind, right? We're having a conversation. Now we're gonna shift again. What should we have a conversation about? About five, six, seven, eight, five, six, seven, eight, five, six, seven, eight, five, six, seven, eight. I don't know. I always like to count off five, six, seven, eight when I'm doing a dance routine, because I feel like the one, two, three is so like played out, overrated. Five, six, seven, eight, five, six, seven, eight. It just has a different flavor to it, right? But of course, if you need to use the count when you're creating a routine, sometimes creating a routine, eight-step. Yes, starting from step one, kick your leg out, two, all right. First move, kick your left leg one. Second count, kick your right leg. Uh uh, yeah, we get that. But to count off, to push off, I like a good five, six, seven, eight. Eight. Eight. Eight. Eight. Eight. What grade were you in when you were the age of eight? That's a good question. Cause see, now I'ma have to really do some math and think though. Eight, eight, eight, eight, eight. I was probably somewhere around second or third grade. I feel like third grade. I was in third grade ish. Yeah. I was in third grade. Third or fourth. Between either third graduating, going to fourth. I was around that age. That was actually, I loved the third grade. I don't know what it was about third grade. I really loved my third grade teacher, Mr. Pessen. I still remember him. That means he was a damn good teacher. Um, it's like several decades later, right? He was dope. That was a pretty good school. It was uh like, yeah, I had fun in the third grade. Fourth grade was kind of challenging. I had to get, I had to really, really adjust in fourth grade. And I don't know, I can't, I think the work just it just wasn't challenging enough for me. In addition to literally all of my neighborhood friends was in the same classroom. Like, how the hell is everyone I'm cool with and live in the same building? Like, we like you know, we know each other's parent. Like, we in the same class. Like, there was nowhere getting done. Like, we were all playing around. Um, but you know, the fourth grade is the year that you have to shape up because that determines what middle school you go to. So, you know, you get that out of your system, and then you fifth grade was pretty cool too. Fifth grade was alright. Middle school was cool. Middle school is the sixth junior high school, I mean. Middle school is like third, fourth, fifth. I mean junior high. Junior high school was mad fun, right? See? Conversation. Then you guys start talking about your experiences. Boom. You guys will be talking for hours. Bam, how do we switch from there? You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not as difficult as people think it is. I think it's a fear of judgment, a fear of not being understood or heard, and just not really wanting to take the chance and make the effort, right? Some guys, I've had male friends who said women are not funny. And they're like, it's only like maybe a few women I've came across that you guys are funny, but women are not funny. So what are we having conversations with them about? Like, are you serious? What do you mean, what else could you become for? Like, what have you tried? Yeah, but then I'm sure y'all, when y'all with y'all male friends, y'all don't just always talk about sports and women, like y'all don't talk about nothing else, just sports and what girls you've screwed or want to screw, like y'all don't talk about nothing else. I'm like, damn. So basically, both sides need to work on their communication skills. Expectations though, right? Because then it's like, well, you're expecting, you're not gonna say too much because you're expecting to be judged, and you're expecting, you're expecting her, if she asks me if I ever cheated in my last relationship, she's expecting me to one, be honest, but she's expecting to hear no. So I'm gonna tell her no. Nah, never. Meanwhile, you the reason why your last relationship broke up. In fact, you still be bothering your ex. And because her ass ain't let you back in the dough, that's how you cross paths with this young lady whose time you about to waste, but she not expecting all that yet, right? Oh, oh, making better choices. Oh interesting. She's expecting someone who's honest, who's not a cheater, who, you know, nowadays. Days they stepped it up a notch. I'm not sure if you guys are aware. Now people are talking about, oh, I need a man of God. I need a woman of God. You know, yeah, awesome. Yes. However, it's being that y'all, that the label is being misused. And then you're throwing it out there for these predators and these psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists to embody the quintessential man of God or woman of God. So they're watching the same videos you guys are watching. They're talking the slang. They're using the term. So you gotta be careful with that too, right? Because you don't know who and what you're amongst. Sometimes you're teaching a person how to manipulate you, quite literally. I expect him to be a man of God. I expect this, this, this. And they sit in there like, yes, yes, yes, I'm all of those things. She's expecting it. So since she expecting it, I'ma say that I do it. I might try to do some of it. She expecting it. So if that's what she expecting to see, let me show it to her. Let her guard down. And then I could be myself. Vice versa. He's expecting a woman who knows how to cook. I ain't telling him he knows how that I don't know how to cook. He got that money. He looks good. He got a nice car. Now I ain't let him slip through my fingers. Uh-uh. Yeah, I cook. What's your favorite dish to cook? Whatever you want me to cook. I cook whatever. I could cook anything. Try me. Alright, bet. Yup, just let me know when you want it. Tell me in advance so I could go get the stuff. All this time she's getting the food catered or buying the food, food, food, making somebody else in her family or friends cook the food. Alright? You've been keeping up. Now y'all get serious. Now y'all living together. Now he knows your ass can't cook. Now he cheats on you with a woman who's feeding his feeding him, feeding his belly. I expected a woman who knows how to cook. You told me you know how to cook. You don't know how to cook. You've been lying to me this whole time. Expectations. Conversations. Conversations. If you feel like the space isn't safe for you to converse, you should remove yourself from that space. If you don't feel your you're you don't feel safe, you don't feel safe. Don't keep yourself in a space that's judgmental or doesn't feel safe. Don't feel like it also keep boundaries with yourself and others. Of course, with conversation, there's boundaries. There might be topics and things that you don't want to speak on. Say it. I don't feel comfortable sharing that. That's none of your business. I don't I don't share things like that. Next. You're not being disrespectful. You're just stating your boundaries from the start. I don't wish to converse on this. Let's pick another topic. Simple. Potato, potato, tomato, tomato, but people make it so damn hard. Be free this Friday, y'all. Be safe, stay prayed, and peace out.